http://www.fabjob.com/welcome.asp

It’s been awhile since I have posted here but I plan to create a 30 days of Fun in February newsletter in the next couple of weeks — stay tuned.

Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish and you feed him for a lifetime. Chinese proverb.

http://sapodilla.blogspot.com/

I just came across this blog and the writing is so beautiful, colourful, and fantastic. It’s hard not to smile even on a dark and cloudy day.

This is life; this is living. Check it out!

“Badbossology.com features completely free access to over 1200 articles and resources on solving problems with difficult managers.”

We gain strength, and courage, and confidence by each experience in which we really stop to look fear in the face… we must do that which we think we cannot. Eleanor Roosevelt

If there has been something you have been meaning to do but haven’t got around to doing because of fear and loathing of the unexpected, now is the time to do it. Expand your comfort zone and go after all that you dream of while keeping in mind the Mindlogos mantra: positive, productive, and meaningful. If it’s positive for yourself and others around you (if applicable), productive (reaches a goal which isn’t destructive in a negative way), and meaningful (brings more value to your life), then Jumpstart The Star That You Are!

Many of us need to feel shame or be shamed to do the “right thing”. What’s the *right* thing? It’s what we know will be good for ourselves and/or others. For some reason, we need to be scolded by others and feel embarrassed before we do it.

For example, recycling… many of us didn’t get on the *recycling* bandwagon until there was enough conversation and news about it which created the “shame factor”. If our neighbours are recycling and we don’t, we can feel shame and shame doesn’t feel so good, so we do as other’s do — one of the crowd.

But that isn’t very positive and ultimately the *spirit* of the *right thing* becomes perverted. What do I mean by that? Eventually, people start finding ways *around* doing the *right thing* and actions become superficial and in fact create other future problems.

My challenge to you is to learn to *do the right thing* without having to be shamed. This leads to an assertive, positive, and productive cycle of success!

Our stations are often tuned to WII FM (What’s in it for me) and MMFG AM (Make me feel good about myself) but what many of us do not realize is that if we play COA FM (Care about others for me) and help others feel good about themselves, we automatically receive the benefits of the WII FM and MMFG AM channels without having to tune in.

So the challenge for this week is to do something for someone else, give them a gift, write a testimonial (to your boss for your co-workers or to your boss’ boss for your boss or to a service provider… for example), put a smile on their face, do something unexpected and try not to worry about WII FM because COA FM is a much better channel.

Have you noticed the power of words? That what we say to ourself changes our moods in positive or challenging ways? I have.

Instead of saying, “I shouldn’t x,y,z”, “I can’t x,y,z”, “I must x,y,z” or “I have to x, y, z”, why not say “I want x,y,z”.

Most people would agree that it’s a good idea to keep your living space clean; however, I find the task tedious and boring so I don’t like it. But I know that if I do clean up the living space that the chi energy will flow more positively.

So instead of saying, “I don’t want to clean house because it’s boring and tedious. I know I *should* but I just don’t want to”, I have started to say, “I love and want to clean my house because I’m more productive and happy.” I look forward to the immediate gratification of a clean and free flowing house and that thought keeps me happy while I do a task that isn’t particularly interesting.

A simple change in speech does a whole lot of good to increase your happiness.

Now, does this work for what most people would agree as *bad* things to do? Say for example: smoking, eating too much, working too much, spending too much, etc. etc. Yes, it does.

When we allow ourselves to want the things we love, we free ourselves to not *have* to want more than is good for us. So have a smoke, eat what you like, work hard, and spend money. “But that is a destructive behaviour”, you say! Well, it won’t be. Why? Because you want what makes you feel good. Smoking, eating, working, and spending can make you feel good, right? Right. But doing too much of it can make you feel bad, right? Right!

So when you say, “I want to smoke”, in theory and in practise (unless you like to sabotage yourself) you will only do what you love until you love it and no more. In effect, you end up doing less of what *isn’t* good for you because your mind says, “hey, this isn’t fun anymore. I only want what makes me feel good”.

The whole point of this post is to say: Concern yourself with your own desires and interests and not what other people say you “should and shouldn’t” do because you don’t own those *should’s, have’s, and must’s* — someone else does! You own *want*!

Well, this might be a bit abstract and I welcome comments and feedback. Questions are especially helpful if you want clarification to any of my statements.

Link: http://www.thetech.org/exhibits/online/revolution/

The Life Cycle:

• Introduction
• Growth
• Maturity
• Decline

I love The Life Cycle — which is often used in business regarding products — because it is a universal principle that applies to so many life issues.

Below, I’m going to illustrate how The Life Cycle affects our happiness and accomplishments in life:

Note: A “crisis” section underneath each phase is written to state the “challenging” aspects of the phase moving forward.

The INTRODUCTION phase is about the newness of the thing. In relationships, that can be first meetings and in work, the first weeks. It’s about discovery and possibilities.
Crisis If one is always looking for the new, then nothing can grow and that deep intimate knowledge can never happen. A lot of superficiality can occur.

The GROWTH phase is about making things “happen”. In relationships, this can mean moving towards getting a place together, vacationing, and blossoming the relationship with “truths” and healing each other’s “pasts”. In work, this can mean being in charge of a project that has a great effect on the work place.
Crisis If people get stuck in the growth stage it will be difficult to make something “worthwhile” happen!

The MATURITY phase is about standardizing and stabilizing. In relationships, this can mean getting married, having babies, getting a house, etc. etc… In work, this can mean setting standards, creating documentations, policies and procedures.
Crisis If you don’t allow innovation and the intro, growth cycle to re-occur — the road leads to decline and that means having to scramble to re-new the situation. Good planning allows for change.

The DECLINE phase is about staleness. The relationship might undergo a divorce, separation, or an affair. In work situations, a lay-off, wanting to quit, or huge dissatisfaction might occur.
Crisis If this stage comes to the surface, it’s hard to dig oneself out of the situation. A lot of people run and cut their losses but it doesn’t have to be that way.
…

To add, we all have a “place” or two that we love to hover over. For me it’s the “Maturity and then back to Growth stage”. In my case, when it comes to work, this means that I love to put together plans, document processes and procedures, and help stabilize; however, I DO NOT want to be stuck in what I created or be forced by upper management or clients to succumb to my own designs. I want the option of re-visiting, updating, and innovating. Certifications, plans, processes, and programs are just “guides” or “tools” for a smoother ride but it doesn’t make or break anything.

But if I don’t have the option of growth, I usually quickly have a DECLINE crisis and might choose to terminate the relationship.

…

Why is any of this important?

Because once you understand which area of the cycle you like to be in, you can either a) advise the people you live and work with or b) do things that allow you to stay in the cycle that’s most comfortable and that can be done in a healthy way.

Finally Revolve the Cycle and Avoid Decline. This can be achieved by:

understanding which state you are likely to hover over;
• communicating that to the people that need to know (including yourself);
• doing something that allows you to stay in that state for as long as possible while cycling out to maintain balance.

As a life and business coach, I’m able to help you with The Life Cycle — contact me today for a free consultation.